Author Topic: scene by TheCanadian  (Read 2923 times)

TheCanadian

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scene by TheCanadian
« on: August 14, 2014, 04:30:26 AM »
Wrote this a long while ago on writing.com, would love some feedback

You where curious as to where Nick had gotten the panties, but at the same time you where overthrown with curiosity for some unknown reason, so you took the panties and went to your room to change. As Nicole put the panties on she thought of how comfortable they where, the soft red cotton felt good softly rubbing against you... RUBBING?!?!
You looked down in panic to see your new red panties rubbing gently against your crotch, moving by themselves. You where about to say something when you felt the rest of your clothes shifting around your body, as if readjusting to better fit you. You where going to try and take the panties off when your arms refused to move, you looked at them and tried to move, seeing your arms squirm around in their sleeves while the sleeves themselves didn't move at all.

Panic and curiosity set in, but more curiosity than fear. The clothes hadn't really done anything to harm you yet, so you figured you should just go along for the ride at this point until anything bad happens. Your panties then started to move, you looked to get a better idea of what they where doing; they where making walking motions. You decided to go with the flow and walked forward with the panties, it felt good to go through the motions with them instead of resisting them. the trip was short lived as you felt the panties stop, you looked down to see you tight leggings you took off earlier.

Suddenly a jolt of lightning shot out of your crotch from the panties and hit the leggings, you where once again confronted with fear and outweighing curiosity as you looked at the leggings, they then started to inflate like a bouncy castle, the cuffs widening out and the effect slowly worked it's way up the pants, a large butt swelled out of the legging's backside much larger than your own you noted in your head. Within a minute the leggings where fully formed and standing in front of you.

TheCanadian

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Re: scene by TheCanadian
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2014, 12:47:22 AM »
Yea there definitely are alot of goof here, I actually pulled this out of an interactive on Writing.com so some stuff did come before this part. At any rate this is some of my earliest attempts at writing and so I have met mild improvement since then, I decided to post this bit because I think it's the longest thing I have written, I'm mostly a reader.

TheCanadian

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Re: scene by TheCanadian
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2014, 12:56:09 AM »
I'll be frank, I don't know 0.O I'll have to find the interactive and go to the chapter before this one.

Daikyi

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Re: scene by TheCanadian
« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2014, 01:25:31 AM »
I have a bunch of edits if you're interested in reading this small wall of text

i'm actually going to message this for you, since edit hell is the place for nitpicking haha

Darkside007

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Re: scene by TheCanadian
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2014, 11:19:10 AM »
Actually, I meant Edit Hell as a place for people to submit work with the understanding that it *would* get picked to pieces. Not so much who would do the picking. I would ask that heavy edits go there, but it's not a big deal.

Daikyi

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Re: scene by TheCanadian
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2014, 11:59:41 AM »
already messaged him the edits; the edits themselves were longer than the passage that he posted haha

TheCanadian

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Re: scene by TheCanadian
« Reply #6 on: September 24, 2014, 05:56:11 PM »
Yea they where! I'm a little busy with studying for the next ten days or so but I'm defiantly looking at them! You put alot of effort into it :D

Daikyi

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Re: scene by TheCanadian
« Reply #7 on: September 24, 2014, 09:32:20 PM »
do you want me to post edits? my edits are more of advice, no actual editing of his passage; i feel like a lot of edits just make writing to my liking, so i try to leave it up to the author as much as possible


but i can def. post them up lol

Wander

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Re: scene by TheCanadian
« Reply #8 on: November 26, 2014, 06:04:52 PM »
Have you re-written this piece by chance using Daiki's edits? I'd be really interested in seeing how it came out! Despite the issue that Vestiphile mentioned, it was quite a fun little read. I like Female Point of View stories.