Mysterious.Sexy - magical women, fantastic settings, supernatural situations

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Messages - Vestiphile

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1
Names, I guess I recommend this:
https://www.behindthename.com/

If you're starting a CHYOA, I wouldn't worry too much striving for perfection or worrying about multiple rounds of edit--have you seen some of the stuff on there? It sounds like you really have what you need. You just have to start composing, posting, and seeing what comes of it. Things get easier as you go.

I feel like any other "help" I provide would really just be plot pollution. Run in the direction you've started with abandon and good things will come of it.

2
Off-Topic Board / Re: Shopping on Canal Street (NYC)
« on: April 07, 2019, 04:44:00 PM »
I might be your best chance here, and I fold. I don't grok this one without a google cheat.  ;D

3
Chain Story Board / Re: Writing / Illustration stream
« on: March 24, 2019, 01:52:18 PM »
In the discord I said:
"People don't use throwaway emails anymore?"

4
Chain Story Board / Re: Writing / Illustration stream
« on: March 23, 2019, 09:16:01 AM »
Quote
You've been so awesome on CHYOA

I'm really glad people are liking the new chapters!
I don't wanna beat a dead horse or anything, but I hear a lot more positive praise from you guys than I see actual 'likes' on the chapters.

I very much appreciate the direct praise in a big way, but I just wanna say one more time: right now, I don't have any revenue streams out for my writing and art, and I don't plan on having any until I am 100% organized in the archive and 100% caught up on what I owe with the old art.

BUT...in the meantime, remember that I have destroyed my biggest traffic driver: my deviantArt page. This means that most of my new traffic drive will come from recognition in places I still exist, like CHYOA. That recognition, at the moment, is best brought to me with that silly little 'like' button.

I made a lot of mistakes making my way in this landscape over the last 8 years, gang--failure to self-market due to pride was one of them.
Well, that's out.

Don't just go to my page and hit like on everything. I'm not asking for dishonesty or ballot stuffing here.
But if you liked a chapter, can you just hit the damn button at the bottom of the page? I know you've only got one hand free--but that's literally all it takes.

5
Chain Story Board / Writing / Illustration stream
« on: March 22, 2019, 07:23:53 PM »
Going to go from a chapter in the CHYOA to a drawing and back. Let's see how many cycles I can do. Probably one.

https://picarto.tv/Vestiphile

6
Chain Story Board / Re: CHYOA outside of MagicMystique
« on: March 22, 2019, 10:59:53 AM »
I contributed to one of the other threads of Haunted Coeds

https://chyoa.com/chapter/Night-Audit.551444

7
Chain Story Board / Re: Djinn's Notebook
« on: March 22, 2019, 09:15:17 AM »
One of these from the request line.
Living gloves, enchanted body, wish power spiral, power hungry Lydia

https://chyoa.com/chapter/Lydia-Thinks-Bigger.551320

8
Chain Story Board / Re: Forbidden Codex
« on: March 22, 2019, 09:14:22 AM »
Denise thread--her "dirty dancing" clothes get out of control, and her mom's things come after her...

https://chyoa.com/chapter/Dirtier-Dancing.551094

9
Chain Story Board / Re: Manacite
« on: March 22, 2019, 09:12:33 AM »
And another one of our members/founding writers added here as well:

https://chyoa.com/chapter/She-leaves-with-a-lot-of-Manacite%2C-and-ideas.551144

10
Chain Story Board / Re: Manacite
« on: March 22, 2019, 09:11:49 AM »

11
Chain Story Board / Re: Forbidden Codex
« on: March 22, 2019, 09:11:14 AM »
Enchanted clothing, forced crossdress, public humiliation in front of your sister's friends...

https://chyoa.com/chapter/Only-a-Whole-Car-of-Your-Sister%27s-Friends.550476

12
Chain Story Board / Re: Hormone Hijinks
« on: March 22, 2019, 09:06:31 AM »
The more Justine explores, the more she influences the magic...
Flying/enchanted clothing/light power play

https://chyoa.com/chapter/Justine-isn%27t-stopping-anything.550494

13
General Writing Forum / Re: Reposted stories
« on: March 20, 2019, 09:21:35 PM »
Oh, I got it...I just went back to read, and this is the THUMP THUMP THUMP part!
Hmm.
You know...I actually love this part and I'm probably not changing this.
I guess, at critical moments, I do the POV shift in this story. I really want us to know how she feels about him since she's going to end up pretty important to him here.

In contrast with the thong he dealt with earlier, for instance--who was helpful to him, but not warm at all.

I don't want it to seem like lazy writing. It's not. I just forgot that I shifted to her for these paragraphs.
I guess--it IS intentional, though I thought I was being consistent about the use of it in a way that I wasn't.

You didn't say so, but if it's confusing, is there anything I can do to make it clearer when it happens?

14
General Writing Forum / Re: Reposted stories
« on: March 20, 2019, 08:53:58 PM »
Oh, shit. That is a mid-stream shift! I guess I hadn't noticed.
I should probably go check and make sure there aren't a lot of those...

I really thought I had them isolated to sections!   :o

15
General Writing Forum / Re: Reposted stories
« on: March 20, 2019, 06:40:36 PM »
Well, no--not from what I see.
With the exception of Bailey's 1st person stints early in the book, I'm actually pretty consistent about the rule.
We get 1st person (POV Kalin) from any scene Kalin is in, and 3rd person (POV Omniscient/shifting) from all other parties.

With Bailey...I did want inside her head a little bit, but parts where she's ACTUALLY voicing in first person are artifacts.
I wasn't sure how I was going to do the perspective yet. Maybe I assumed I would only do scenes with one or the other's POV and have the scenes switch back and forth when they're out doing different things. Obviously, that's not quite how it went.

Should Bailey's 1st person scene(s?) be changed?
Publisher/Editor's Perspective:
Fuck yes. It's dumb to risk confusing readership because "you wanted to get in her head a little bit." Shifting 1st and 3rd is confusing enough, but as long as you have some semblance of consistency with the "1st if Kalin, 3rd if not" rule, you should adjust anything that lies outside this rule.

Author/Fictional MetaAuthor's Perspective:
It's unconventional, but I dread rewriting a scene outside someone's head when the ENTIRE FREAKING SCENE is Bailey trying to square herself with playing around with her ex-dude's clothing. It literally cannot be the same scene if I'm simply illustrating how she looks and feels. I need her stream of consciousness to remain there, and I need it not to be italicized.

I see chapter 8 starting with 3rd person (Bailey and CM, Bailey and Ghebrin--both from 3rd Omni), then proceeding with 3rd in Vestinia (Ava & Gloria, Ava & a nightgown, Ava and Nyxe's Telepathic voice), then switching to 1st (Kalin and the sentinel ladies), then back to 3rd (Chalco & Bailey), then back to 1st (Kalin et al., Kalin & Nyxe).

So, here we go:

Fauler's writing Kalin's bio, right? That's what we're looking at when we read "Adriksehn:Skipper". Fauler has Kalin's side of the story in a big way, then he has some corroboration from others. He's got some records he can go on, but he's also tasked to 'sell' Kalin, so he's probably painting him in the best light he possibly can here. He's trying as best he can--as a stoner from Ithaca, NY who was kidnapped from our dimension sometime around 2007--to give Kalin a kind of "Philip Marlowe" sheen.
The one time he wrote Bailey in 1st--well, let's just say he was a little too self-involved hearing a very very pretty Kelysnethite talk about how some clothes had a whole lot of fun with her.

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